She Used to Be Mine, or How Sara Bareilles Became The Loudest Voice in my Life
The other day, I turned to my partner and said, “Maybe I should just start singing more.”
I don’t have a bad voice. (I don’t have a great one.) I can match pitch with some practice. (Emphasis on “some practice.”) And it’s not like I’ve never been in a choir (um, try elementary school through college church choirs) or been in a musical (Chicago in 2008 — the sexuality traumatized my uncle so much that he forgets he even saw that show) or sung at open mics (I needed an outlet from 2011-12). Maybe I should start singing more. Maybe I should start singing more, just at home.
But here’s the thing: I already sing a lot. Specifically “She Used to be Mine” from Waitress, on repeat — whether I’m having a really great day or a really bad one. It’s honestly a miracle Spotify hasn’t asked me if I’m okay.
I don’t know what it is about this song.
But from the moment I heard Sara Bareilles sing it on the concept album, I was hooked. My Tumblr posts from 2015 to 2019 are peppered with Youtube videos of young people singing their hearts out to their own renditions. It got to the point where friends were texting me their own favorite versions, adding to a digital collection that I could never truly own. And when I saw the Tony performance in 2016, a link to the video went up in my out of office response that summer. I was gone for two weeks that time around. I wonder how many people actually clicked.
This song leaves me quite actually speechless, save for the lyrics of the song. So I wanted to share some of my favorite renditions and let y’all just sit in that with me. I love them all for different reasons, and no I will not be ranking them.
Joshua Colley (2020)
I love the country lilt to Joshua’s performance, the way he bites down words that I wouldn’t (like “person” and “pie”), and how expressive his eyebrows are, even when (and quite possibly especially when) he loses control of them altogether.
Aiden Fisher (2018)
I have a soft spot for tight a cappella harmonies and it took me about three listens in a row to really glom onto this arrangement. Come for the girl in the audience saying “Oh my god!” as soon as she recognizes the song, stay for my favorite interpretation of the line “and makes you believe it’s all true / and now I got you.” Aiden is a powerhouse and this performance takes me on a journey.
Jeremy Jordan (2018)
I’ve loved Jeremy Jordan since Newsies and quite possibly before, so the quality of his voice didn’t surprise me when I first watched this video. What did surprise me was how understated and personal his performance is. It feels like he’s singing this song completely for himself, which is what I think Sara Bareilles intended when she wrote the song. Plus his performance of the lyric “fight just a little” gets me every time.
Adrian Escalona (2018)
This performance actually makes me cry, and literally the only thing that makes me cry happy tears these days is sad music under the final moments of Queer Eye. I don’t know what events transpired to get this then 14-year-old performer on stage during curtain call for Waitress, but damn get this get an agent and a Broadway contract already. That final sustained “miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine” is everything I could ever want from this song.